The Warchief Made Me Do It

Published under Gaming,Humor,World of Warcraft.

So I was a tad late for work this morning because of my warchief.

I was in Nagrand, helping the Mag’har tribe save their dead ancestors from being possessed by demons. It seemed like a the honorable (read: greedy) thing for a Blood Knight such as myself to do.

After I finished up that slightly messy task with the help of my wife and her pet velociraptor, I went to hang out with Greatmother Geyah and let her know that she owed me some bucks.

She went on about how the leader of their tribe, Garrosh Hellscream, was all down on himself because his daddy had drank the blood of a demon and doomed them all to be bloodthirsty buttheads.

“Waahh,” Garrosh says, “My daddy left me a rotten legacy. Wo is me!”

Then the name clicked. Hellscream…Hellscream…Where have I heard that name before? Oh right… etched right here on my axe:

“The axe of Grom Hellscream has sown terror across hundreds of battlefields.”

So it turns out that the Greatmother is the grandmother of Thrall, son of Durotan. I’d run into Thrall before, always trying to make him understand that we Blood Elves aren’t all that bad.

Thing is, Thrall didn’t know his Grandmother was alive. His dad had died when he was young, yada yada. Thrall was good friends with Grom Hellscream, though, even though Garrosh had never known his daddy.

So basically I decided to help the deranged family out.

“Look, granny, I’ll go tell Thrall that his grandmama is out here with his best friend’s son and I’m sure he’ll come set you all straight on the sitch,” I told her.

So I went to Orgrimmar and walked right into Thrall’s throne room. He has an open-door policy cuz he’s cool like that.

Thrall was like, “Granny’s alive!”

I’m like, “Yah. I took her gold.”

So Thrall tells me to go tell granny that he’s on his way. And sure enough, shortly after I get there he comes strolling into Garadar like he owns the place. A few minutes of hob-knobbing with his biggest fans, and Thrall wanders in to see granny.

Luckily they aren’t the private type, so I got to watch the whole thing. Granny’s all concerned the Mag’har are going to pot because Garrosh is a big emo sissy, always whining about how his daddy was a loser.

So Thrall never being one to let an Orc be emo, finds Garrosh and explains that although his daddy did drink demon blood and turn them all into buttheads, he also freed them from the same curse by defending the other orcs and defeating said demon with his trusty axe (that must have then gotten lost, because I totally have it strapped to my back).

Suddenly, Garrosh is all like, “I’m the son of a hero! Kneel before me, suckers!”

And that’s why I was late for work. I had to sort out the issues of my warchief’s family and friends. Being a Blood Knight is a tough job, but someone has to do it.

Best Warcraft quest line ever.

Bad Mornings

Published under Commentary,Music,Personal,World of Warcraft.

So I was going to post about a dream I had last night, but my morning sucked so bad that I decided to rant instead about my bad morning. It probably doesn’t really matter to most people, but oh well.

First off, I hate my cat. He woke me up at 4:30am this morning. This has become a 3-4 night/week ritual in which he decides to meow incessantly. If I call for him, he’ll come up in the bed and be quiet for 5-10 minutes before jumping down and meowing again. The toll it’s taking on my sleep is beginning to become unbearable and I really don’t know what to do to make him stop.

Since I wasn’t being allowed to sleep, I went downstairs to log into WoW. I had time on my hands afterall, because going to work at 5:30am isn’t exactly a fun thing to do.

That brings us to what I hate next: large mobs. It seems that Blizzard thinks that the higher in level we get, the bigger mobs need to get. It’s getting to the point that its near unplayable in some places. You simply cannot see anything at all when fighting some of these mobs. If you get another, you can’t tell. If you try to run away, you can’t see what’s in front of you. It’s very annoying when you’ve been woken up at 4:30am by a stupid cat.

Next up: Rascal Flatts (playing on my radio when I got in the car this morning).

If you don’t listen to country music, you may not know who this group is. Country radio seems to want to have their babies. I want them to die in a fire. I simply hate this group. It is the worse musical group in the history of the world and I don’t understand why they get any attention or album sales at all.

Their songs are extremely trite, and the lead singer’s voice is more grating than fingernails on a chalkboard. I’d rather listen to Paris Hilton explain quantum physics than listen to Rascal Flatts. Unfortunately, my local radio station insists on playing their crap every other song.

Which brings me to my local radio station. I hate them too. They play a grand total of 5 different country songs on repeat all day long. I miss Texas where they understand the genre and aren’t catering to these wannabe cowboys who think they’re cool if they listen to Rascal frickin’ Flatts.

Then there’re stupid drivers. Most people will tell you that they hate people talking on their cell phones while driving. I don’t hate that. I hate people who are incapable of doing it effectively.

Case in point: a Toyota FJ Cruiser this morning who literally was swerving back and forth between lanes, without signaling, while talking on his cell phone and varying his speed greatly. Passing him was dicey due to his sudden and inexplicable lane switches.

Furthermore, he had 3 bags of concrete on his luggage rack. This isn’t so alarming in most cases, but this gentlemen seems to think there is no need to tie these things to his vehicle. One slam on the brakes and someone’s getting a concrete bag in the windshield. Luckily, that wasn’t me this morning.

So far, that’s all I hate this morning. Having woken up at 4:30am, though, I’m bound to find more. Consider this a warning. If you’re reading this, don’t be something I hate today.

Blizzcon: Day 2

Published under Gaming,Vacation,World of Warcraft.

So day two of Blizzcon was considerably more relaxed.  There was a lot more meaningful information about things happening to WoW in the coming patches.

I also got a glimpse of the Ret Pally changes that are upcoming.  I’m excited about those.

They’re doing lots of interesting things with Instance keying as well, such that whole guilds may get keyed at once.  Also, keying one character on your account may in the future key them all.  I don’t know if that’s just for raids, or for heroics as well.

Zul’Aman looks to be a fun instance.  They didn’t go into too much detail about the gameplay and bosses, but they did show off some of the loot.  Looks like DPS Plate is back baby!

Also, they really like the epic crafter-only items for professions like blacksmithing and are adding others soon.  Jewelcrafting, for instance, is going to be able to make epic gems out of blue gems that only they can use.  Among others, one is a +18 stam gem.

They also hinted at potions that only alchemists would be able to drink.

There’s probably more, but I just drove to San Diego for the rest of the vacation so that’s it for now.  Not a fun blog post, I know, but time is of the essence!  Shamu is calling.

Blizzcon: Day 1

Published under Gaming,Vacation,World of Warcraft.

hotties.jpgWell I survived Day 1 of Blizzcon and it was a very busy day! The day opened with Blizzard’s announcement of World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King.

To my surprise, they actually had a playable demo on the showroom floor! The wife and I were able to get 20 minutes in the Howling Fjord — one of the entry zones into Northrend.

Interestingly (and wisely), Northrend will actually have two entry zones so not everyone will be crammed into the same zone come release day.

They went into pretty big detail about the game, showing off the Death Knight class and how it will work and fit into the game. It’s considered a “hero class” but it’s not a class that your character turns into.

Instead, you must do a questline (they compared it to the Warlock Epic Mount quest) and then you’re able to create new characters as Death Knights.

troll.jpgHe’s supposed to be a tank/DPS hybrid who doesn’t need shields in order to tank effectively.

He doesn’t use rage, mana, or energy but instead is getting a new “rune” system which involves him inscribing runes onto his weapon to determine the spells he can cast during combat.

Aside from the new expansion, there was Starcraft 2.

Honestly, it feels very very early in development and some of their ideas for the single player “story mode” are kinda weird. The plan is to take the time between RTS missions to give you an adventure/RPG like interaction with characters.

My first thought was that it was kind of hokey. I hope they work it out. In their defense, it was pretty early on into development.

There were also tons of folk in costume, which I hope to post up when I get back from Cali. There’s just a couple of samples here for now.

Day 2 looks to be less hectic and certainly lower on the new information flood. I’ll blog about it… eventually.

One Time…

Published under Humor,World of Warcraft.

So, a little meme that’s been going around the Warcraft world (haha!) lately has been to take class abilities that can’t crit and then say what happens the one time they did.

I’ve gathered up some of my favorites for this post. I’m even gonna give links for all the abilities so you lay-Warcrafters can read what the ability actually does to hopefully aid in the funny, though some of them actually play off of the name of the ability instead of the ability itself.

One time…

And the one you’ll wish you could say to me by now: