Okay. Most of my motivation for blogging about this was the chance to use the title above. I’m proud of it. Because the winner was David Cook… and a cook smokes things… and he beat Archuleta…

My other idea was “David Cooks Archuleta.” I should be a headline writer.

Anyway, every time I’m pretty sure that America has gone and become complete idiots they redeem themselves.

Congratulations to David Cook, the most deserving winner of American Idol Season 7.

I’m relieved that we didn’t have a Daughtry repeat. Cook has the potential to sell albums on a Carrie Underwood scale.

Not only did Cook beat Archuleta, he did so handily by 12 million votes — 56% to 44%.

It’s good to know that America has not fallen into the ownership of 12 year old girls. Adults can fight back!

Okay. Maybe I don’t really hate it. I just hate to watch year after year and see the best contestants get voted off.

I’m pretty anti-social and my general stance on people other than myself (and those few who have proven otherwise) is that they’re all morons.

American Idol proves how moronic America really is. Every single year.

The only seasons that America had even half a brain were Seasons one & four.

I’m not a big fan of Kelly Clarkson, but I’ll admit she’s a bona fide artist at this point.

And, of course, I think the world of Carrie Underwood who is — by my estimation — the most worthy American Idol winner ever.

The year after Carrie, Chris Daughtry got an early boot when he should have won. And who won instead? Taylor Hicks.

Seriously, I don’t understand the reasoning people use when voting for these contestants. I’m willing to concede that not every one has to have the same taste in music, but it’s not always about musical genre.

It’s about actual talent. There are haves and have-nots when it comes to a fantastic singing voice, and the division is generally very very clear.

But apparently no one’s ears work as well as mine, because I’m continually disappointed by the decisions made by the loyal viewers of idol.

This year we had a final six of Jason Castro, Syesha Mercado, Brooke White, David Cook, David Archuleta and Carly Smithson.

That’s a solid final six, but let’s face facts. Both Syesha and Jason are amateurs compared to the other four. Their voices are weak, their choices are boring, and they have no real chance in the world of music.

Yet somehow, Carly got voted out. Carly; the woman who has the best female vocals by far in this year’s competition.

Brooke couldn’t even sing her song right, yet somehow she got voted through. She’s a snotty, arrogant little brat who constantly interrupts the judges and is in all other ways rude from what I’ve seen on Idol.

Yet America persists. Bunch of morons.

So another season of Survivor got underway yesterday with Survivor: Micronesia – Fans Vs. Favorites.

It’s a laborious title, but an ingenius plot device. Take a tribe of huge Survivor fans and put them up against a tribe of past Survivor players. Will having played the game win out over being a student of it? Only time will tell.

I don’t really plan on blogging about every single episode. As usual, I’ll just blog about it when I feel like it. In this case, however, I want to talk about what I consider a very dubious first episode.

One of the favorites that they brought back for this installment of Survivor is the infamous Jonny Fairplay.

He’s well known for getting everyone in a tizzy about his grandmother dying in a previous season.

The only problem with that was that his grandmother didn’t really die. He had people crying and giving up challenges to him because of that lie.

It is perhaps the lowest that any Survivor has ever sunken. Yet, he has his fans — it did make for some good television.

So he comes back for FvF only to basically quit in the first episode because he has a 7-month pregnant girlfriend back home that he just can’t get off his mind.

Touching, right? The problem? Who can believe Jonny Fairplay?

It almost feels like a plot by CBS to draw in Fairplay fans without actually having to have Fairplay ruin the season.

Perhaps he didn’t really want to be on the show, but CBS said, “Just come on the show. Then we can say you’re on the cast. You can quit after the first day. Just come!”And so he did.

Is it plausible to believe that it was all just an act?

We learned before that Jonny Fairplay cannot be trusted. If he can convince us that his grandmother died, surely he can convince us that impending fatherhood makes him want to quit the game.

To be honest, I question whether he even has a girlfriend, much less a pregnant one.

If CBS had no hand in it, then good for them, but I can’t help but leave this first episode with a bad taste in my mouth. It just didn’t feel right.

It really makes me wonder about the whole arrangement with the ‘favorites.’ Do they play by the same rules as the ‘fans’ or do they get paid as celebrities would?

I guess I’m a bit mistrustful at this point, but I’ll keep watching. Who can pass up Parvati and Amanda in bikinis?

Beauty & the Geek is one of those shows that’s really on my second tier.

I don’t talk about it much, I don’t watch it when it plays live, and I don’t generally search the internet for information about it.

Nonetheless, it’s really an enjoyable show [as far as reality shows go].

This season has been the best season the show has ever seen in my humble opinion.

Not only did they have some really great contestants this go ‘around, but the twist of a male beauty (Sam) and a girl geek (Nicole) was tons of fun.

I’m not sure it was really fair. I mean, Sam had the advantage when the beauty challenge was to pick up bugs… or build seltzer rockets.

He dominated challenges because even the ‘beautiest’ guy has to have done some guy-like things in his life.

But I don’t really care if it was fair. I have to admit that I developed a temporary, fleeting man crush on Sam. I mean, the guy was super macho but also extremely open to all the geeks in the house.

When they first announced this twist to the show, my first thought was how difficult it would be to find a ‘macho’ man who didn’t treat every geek in the house like dirt.

Sam is that guy. He treated everyone with respect, was extremely accepting, and really was a stand-up guy all the way around.

Perhaps he was a better influence for the geeks than any of the other beauties could be. He was the epitome of what they could be.

At the end of the day, Sam & Nicole failed to win the show but they still helped make this season of Beauty & the Geek the best to date.

Here’s hoping that they find more ‘Sams’ for future installments of the show.

I was supposed to write a Heroes review earlier this week. I didn’t. I could do that now, but instead I’m going to write about Survivor. Sorry, Hemisphire.

So we’re down to six in Survivor: China. Last night saw the exit of James, the workhorse gravedigger who had 2 (TWO!) immunity idols in his possession.

Nonetheless, James was a bit too gullible and trusting for his own good and was blindsided by his ‘friends.’

Word to the wise: never trust a gay Mormon.

So we’re left with:

• Todd (the gay mormon)
• Courtney (the anorexic blonde)
• Amanda (Queen Butt Blur)
• Denise (the stereotypical lunch lady)
• Erik (wait, is he even there?)
• Peih-Gee (the most manic survivor ever)

It’s actually a pretty good final six. All of them mostly deserve to be where they are either by pure strategy or key immunity wins.

I think 3 of them definitely deserve to win, while 3 of them definitely don’t. The three that should have a fair claim at the million are Todd, Courtney, and Amanda — oh look, the first three in my list.

Todd has worked hard to manipulate the game whenever he could. He fancies himself more of a conniver than he’s really turned out to be, but overall he’s earned his keep.

I’ve decided that Amanda is really the brains of the operation. Oh sure, Todd may think he is, but it’s always Amanda who has to talk him down from crazy harebrained schemes. Yet when Amanda says to vote out James, Todd does it.

Then there’s Courtney. I didn’t really like her at first, but she’s grown on me. She’s a little Winona Ryder, and a little bit 5-years old all at the same time.

She’s playing a very strange game of Survivor, but it seems to be working. She’s managed to remain true to her alliance while making them question her loyalty at the same time. Whether intentional or accidental, it’s a ploy that has worked well for her.

Then there’s the last three. Denise hasn’t displayed one iota of independent thought, Erik is a non-entity, and Peih-Gee is borderline psychotic and pretty mean to boot. So none of them should win unless they can get in the final two with each other.

My prediction?

I’m going to go with a dream I had last night. That’s right. I had a dream about Survivor. Yes, it’s a little bit embarassing.

At any rate, my dream was about Courtney. I dreamed that she was actually the daughter of one of the families I go to church with and thus was going to church with me.

The dream wasn’t really any more than that (though I vaguely remember football being involved), but it was enough for me to go ahead and predict Courtney as the winner of Survivor: China.

Todd and Amanda just may cannibalize each other, while Courtney waltzes right into the top spot and wins one million dollars.