In lieu of anything more compelling to write about, I’ve decided to start recording what I can remember about my dreams on my blog under a new category.

I have no idea whether other people find my dreams interesting. They are mostly funny, though occasionally gruesome.

Perhaps after many months of recording them (assuming I keep this up), there will emerge a pattern by which my whole personality can be divined.

Last night was a particularly vivid dream night. For whatever reason, I woke up multiple times after three distinct dreams.

Dream #1: I was doing some PVP in World of Warcraft. Only I wasn’t playing, I was actually in the arena.

My teammates? Avery Brooks and Rene Auberjonois, known for portraying Benjamin Sisko and Odo on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

When we met up, Avery Brooks remarked, “This’ll be just like old times.”

Then, through the power of dream logic, Avery Brooks was suddenly Samuel L. Jackson and Rene Auberjonois was suddenly Bruce Willis.

Coincidentally, we did better after Bruce and Sam showed up. I love me some Star Trek, but I’ll take Bruce Willis in a fight any day.

Dream #2: I found a baby chicken and was holding it in my hands. One of my cats saw that I had a baby chicken and started licking his lips.

In an effort to escape my cat and save the chick (because apparently I cannot fend off a 12lb. cat), I slid down a huge slide.

Along the way, I accidentally dropped the chick and my cat was careening past me to eat him. When I got to the bottom, my cat was eating the chick.

Coincidentally, this dream was ended with me waking up to one of my cats meowing, as if he knew I had a baby chicken in my dream for him to eat.

Dream #3: I was in a musical, directed by my high school band director (who I wasn’t fond of). I put my costume in my locker, but I didn’t remember the combination so I looked it up in my binder.

And of course I put my binder in the locker. It was time to get dressed for the musical and I couldn’t get into my locker.

My band director mocked me and sent me to some random student who should have been able to help get into my locker. She couldn’t help.

I decided to eat lunch instead. I went to the cafeteria and ran into Hemisphire on rollerskate shoes, balancing a tray of vegetables. I chose a white cupcake with white frosting and a ham sandwich.

We went to sit down together, and I woke up.

Not quite a centaur, but not quite a satyr either.

The Ashburn Goatman is a cryptid that haunts only my dreams. My recent research of all things crypto have caused me to start inventing my own cryptids in my nightmares.

I’ve now had two dreams about the Ashburn Goatman, which as far as I can tell has never been reported.

Ashburn — a small Northern Virginia community — is about as void of wild animals as anywhere in the concrete metroplexes of the country.

Take that as a disclaimer: none of this is real. It’s just my cryptid charged imagination going into overdrive while I sleep.

As the story goes, my neighbor came over to tell us that she had seen something very strange. It was the size of a goat, with a goat body, but a centaur-like man half. In my dream, I was completely non-skeptical and hoped to see it for myself.

A few hours later (dream-time), one of my cats was meowing at the window. Curious, I looked out to see not only the Goatman, but a baby goatman as well. Although you would think the feeling would be one of awe, I remember feeling extremely creeped out and scared.

Despite my fear, I went outside with a camera to catch at least a photo of the Ashburn Goatman, only to have it run away before I could get its picture.

Then there was a rustle in a nearby bush. I could barely make out what appeared to be the baby. Upon closer inspection, however, it was merely a small baby deer who had hid in the bush (presumably to escape the Goatman).

Dream 2: The Ashburn Goatman had been spotted around Ashburn multiple times. Law enforcement had tried to catch it, and zoologist were en route to find it. It was in all the papers — a national event.

Although the Goatman had never harmed anyone, there was a state of fear surrounding my neighborhood. Children weren’t allowed to go outside. People rushed in from work and only went out in groups.

Weird dreams. I’m not a dream analysis expert, but certainly there is a part of me that longs to see something unexplained and abnormal like a cryptid or a UFO. Perhaps it is that desire that led to these strange dreams about the legendary Ashburn Goatman.