After reading abysmal reviews, I thought I might skip Speed Racer. Then I found myself with a sick wife and a visiting Mom to entertain. What else to do on a rainy weekend?
After watching Iron Man a second time on Friday, there was nothing left for Saturday but Speed Racer.
It raked in only $20 million at the box office, while Iron Man reaped $50 million in its sophomore weekend. Ouch, Speed Racer, ouch.
Let’s start with the good. Speed Racer is quite the visual feast.
Sure, it’s eclectic but not nearly as vomit-inducing as I feared. Epileptics should probably still steer clear, but overall it was a visual masterpiece I’d say.
Some of the race sequences (specifically the last two) were pretty spectacular.
It really was like watching the Matrix on wheels at times, and a lot of really cool stuff was done on the track.
But the movie weighed in at over 2 hours and there were about 3 race scenes.
That means that there was well over an hour of exposition. And fake family relationships. And stupid little kid jokes courtesy of Spritle and Chim Chim the Chimp.
The real problem is that Speed Racer is geared towards a lost audience. It was almost a bit too crude and boring for young children, a bit too childish for older children, and a bit too eclectic for adults.
The only group of people who can fully enjoy this film are those looking to turn their brains off and stare at pretty things. Unfortunately, that group of people is probably renting movies down at the adult store for much more economical excitement.
There were far too many plot elements to keep any child entertained for long. The theater was mostly full of children, and they were noticeably agitated and bored through 75% of the movie.
They only perked up to see Chim Chim throw poo and Spritle raid a candy store and get totally bent off sugar (not at the same time). Wooo.
The acting was adequate, but there really wasn’t much acting called for in this film. Christina Ricci was cute at least, but for a cast this decorated I really wish we could have gotten a little more.
There are moments of grandeur to be sure. When that Speed Racer theme song starts playing for the first time, you can’t help but be a little bit excited — but it’s not enough to save Speed Racer.
Verdict: C- Tilt: D-
Three for three on my 2008 Summer Movie List!
That is quite a tilt! A full letter grade down. I was considering it for a netflix in a few months, but that’s getting really hard to justify for a film I had little interest in to begin with.
Thanks for the warning.